You can notice a mentally strong man within a few minutes of meeting him.
- The way he speaks to you
- The way he speaks about other people
- The things he says about himself
will immediately let you know if this is a confident, self-assured person, a leader that you can trust—or if you’re talking to an insecure, confused man who may be a beta male and one you may need to keep at arm’s length.
Mental toughness is a phase.
The goal is to keep up this phase as long as you can, but it’s also not possible to keep it forever.
Something will come along and knock you down and you have to do more work to get back up again.
That’s the cycle and you can’t change that.
If you need to work on your mental toughness or if you want to be able to tell whether someone is mentally strong or not, here is where you can find out.
They don’t neglect their appearance
Mentally strong men know the importance of first impressions.
They’ll make sure that they’re dressed for the occasion and well-groomed… unless it’s me and I am retired, own my businesses and do shorts, tee shirts and about that caveman life, lol!
They’re clean and they keep their home clean.
Your appearance is the easiest and most noticeable aspect of mental toughness.
It’s completely in your control and easily changed.
If anyone is neglecting this part of themselves, then they’re certainly neglecting other aspects of their lives too.
They’re not embarrassed by their flaws/shortcomings
The most confident men are slightly self-deprecating.
They can make fun of themselves.
If you get defensive or embarrassed when someone points out a flaw or mistake of yours, you’re letting everyone know that you’re very insecure about yourself, a beta.
You’re giving the other person total power over you and that puts people off.
But if you can agree with them, laugh at it, and even tell a funny story about when this flaw got you into trouble—well, you’re telling people that you own your issues and you’re totally okay with them.
They don’t blame other people for their problems
They don’t blame other people for their problems.
I see this far too often with men who have a lot of potential but just aren’t able to reach the level of success they could be at.
When things go wrong, they blame their boss, their colleagues, or even their partners.
Sure, there are times when other people are to blame but their blame isn’t your problem.
You’re not free from blame so you need to take some responsibility so that you can use that to push yourself forward.
When you don’t take responsibility and accountability for your own mistakes and issues, you’re also letting go of the control you have to change that.
It starts with saying, “Oh damn, I messed up here. Let me see how I can fix this shit.”
They don’t depend on other people for financial help
Mentally strong men don’t depend on other people for financial help.
Look, when we reduce the human race down to our most basic state, to simple biology, for the longest time, men have been providers and women have been nurturers.
As much as we move away from these roles, they’re still so deeply ingrained in our DNA and survival that they’re natural for us.
When you don’t follow this “natural order,” you feel unsafe and inadequate.
As a man, you want to be the person who can provide and supply.
When you’re not doing that, you’re going to feel like you can’t take care of yourself or your family.
When you’re depending on your parents, friends, or partner for financial help, you’re always going to feel like you’re not good enough.
As crazy as it sounds, you need to cut yourself off.
The more you depend on other people to provide for you, the weaker you’ll feel.
They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves
They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
There’s a difference between accepting what’s happened and feeling sad about it and pitying yourself and wondering why the world seems to be against you.
Nobody is against you.
Nobody cares or thinks about you as much as you do.
If something goes wrong, it’s not because of you; it just is.
Feeling sorry for yourself exaggerates your misfortune and makes you experience a sense of helplessness.
Pity parties are a waste of time.
They’re not fun, they’re not social, and they have no benefit to you at all.
Mentally strong men know that if something happens, the best thing you can do is accept it and find a way to get through it.
Give yourself time to be upset and then move forward.
They don’t let one person or situation knock their confidence
They don’t let one person or situation knock on their confidence.
In this life, you’re absolutely going to meet people who want to bring you down.
Weak men succumb to pressure, while mentally strong men simply don’t do it.
There’s nothing you can do about the existence of these people, but you can control the effect they have on you.
Mentally strong men know that one person or one situation doesn’t have the power to take them down.
They know that this is part of life and brushing those situations off with a laugh and a better understanding of the way things work is the best way to come out of them.
You could even feel sorry for the person trying to bring you down because they’re coming from a place of incredible insecurity and low self-esteem.
Nobody wants to be there.
They don’t underestimate the importance of their friend
- They don’t underestimate the importance of their friends.
- They know their friends are the people who are going to be in their lives for the good times, the fun times, the bad times, and the sad times.
- They know that making an effort to see and talk to their friends regularly is just as important as making time for themselves.
Just because you have a family or a partner now doesn’t mean that you don’t need your friends.
Just because you’re successful or even down on your luck doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be there to celebrate the good and bad times.
They fulfill different roles in your life and a well-balanced man holds space for all those different parts.
They’re not idle all-day
Just as being a provider is part of an age-old societal and biological influence, so is our ability to move around.
For thousands of years, humans were nomadic.
We walked, ran, climbed trees, and sought shelter in caves.
That instinct is still inside of us.
We still get fidgety and bored so easily because we want to be running in the fresh air.
Mentally strong men know the importance of balancing their downtime with fulfilling their energy and getting out there to run, play sports, or just do anything that’s physically active.
They say that idle hands are the devil’s workshop and boy, can that be true?
When you’re idle, you get up to far more mischief.
They’re not worried about pleasing everyone
You’re going to ruffle a few feathers along the way in life and if you’re worried about how much each person likes you after you’ve done that—or if you feel too guilty about a minor inconvenience—you’re not going to get very far.
It’s a harsh truth but to get your way, you have to be a little pushy. You’ve all heard me say many times before; Make noise and break things! Success never is never true of a quiet person.
People won’t like that but as long as you’re not crossing any boundaries, you have to keep pushing slightly; be a beast otherwise, you’re not going to move forward.
Mentally strong men know when to keep pushing and when to move on.
They know that they can’t please everyone and they’re not afraid to be disliked sometimes. We truly don’t give a fuck, until we do.
They don’t resent other people’s success
Awe shit! This is one of the worst things you can do!
It’s like pointing a spotlight at you and saying, “This person is insecure.”
Anyone’s success is a great thing.
Someone made it. They are making it.
There is more than enough space for you to be there as well.
And if they made it, that means you can too.
Don’t be a lil bitch… Bitterness towards other people comes from not being happy with yourself.
The people around you can spot this bitterness a mile away and it makes them uncomfortable.
It shows that you’re not happy with yourself and they have to wonder, Why?”
What does it say about you that they don’t know?
Insecurity sets off our Spidey senses.
You know that you’re mentally strong when you’re genuinely happy for someone else’s success.
They don’t put women down
Mentally strong men don’t do this, ever.
There are a few reasons why some men insult and put women down and none of them are good. EVER!
For some men, they just don’t know how to treat women properly and this shows a glaring lack of intelligence and awareness about how the world works.
It shows that you don’t have the life experience and social intelligence to understand, that putting anyone down is more about you. And what you believe to be your major flaws than it is about the other person.
Humans have a tendency to judge others by what they despise about themselves.
This temporary sense of superiority and control is almost embarrassing to the rest of the world.
As a provider and protector, this behavior is a total rejection of how you should behave and it’s always and only going to end up making you look bad, not the other person.
Mentally strong men know the value that women bring into their lives and they appreciate and respect that. They have no issues showing it.
They don’t fear being alone
Succumbing to the fear of being alone is something mentally strong men simply don’t do.
In some cases, men can struggle to live their lives without a partner and they jump from relationship to relationship.
In other cases, even those with a partner must always be doing something.
Nights at home are seen as wasted time.
It always seems like they’re leaving the house, running away from something.
The only thing you’re running from is spending time with yourself.
Are you really that bad and boring that even you can’t stand to spend time with you?
Mentally strong men know that they can have a great time on their own.
They don’t get bored because they’ve got hobbies and goals that they can work towards.
They don’t waste time
“Wasted” time can be different for everyone so it’s important to define what’s a waste of time for you.
What are the things that you spend hours on but don’t actually advance you toward your overall goals?
For some people, going out for a drink every Friday night might be a waste of time, but if one of your goals is to be more social and get out of the house more, then this helps you with your goal. And it’s not really a waste of time.
They’re not afraid to admit when they don’t know something
You know those people who hear a word or name and nod along like they know exactly what you’re talking about, only for you to find out a few minutes later that they had no idea?
And then there are those people who immediately ask you, “Who is that?” or “I’ve never heard that; could you explain further?”
Which one seems more confident and endearing to you?
Which one is okay with showing that they don’t know everything?
We’re drawn to people who understand and embrace their shortcomings.
We feel safe with them because they’re honest.
It’s why mentally strong men often have good relationships and many friends—they’re drawn to that honesty and openness.
They don’t hesitate to make important decisions
Society values decisiveness, confidence… leadership.
We love it when someone seems sure about what they want to do and communicates this clearly and with authority.
If they trust themselves, then we trust them.
If there’s one thing mentally strong men don’t do, it’s to avoid important decisions.
Mentally strong men know that bouncing between decisions and thinking too much about them during crucial moments gives people too much ammunition to doubt them.
We also know that even if some things need to be adjusted later, whatever decision we make now isn’t the end of the world.
It will be okay. We will make it okay.
The most important thing right now is to move into action.
Until next time!
#alphalife #savage
About the Author
