First of all, let’s define what I mean by emotionally intelligent people:
Think of a loved one.
What do you feel?
Now, think of a difficult situation. Did your emotions change?
If the answer to this question is “yes”, it means that you are emotionally intelligent.
Emotional intelligence is like a compass that guides us through life’s challenges.
And as surprising as it may seem, you can work on it and improve it so that you become a better person.
More patience, less stress, and an incredible amount of power to handle things come with a good level of emotional intelligence.
And to have a better view, let’s describe some things that emotionally intelligent people try to avoid. This way, you will be able to know what you should work on to improve and handle your emotions.
We Never Stop Learning New Things
Emotionally intelligent people thrive on curiosity.
They see every experience as a chance to learn something new, always staying open to new ideas and growing continuously.
And I’m not just talking about reading as many books as possible.
You can always find new things to learn, even if it’s about some boring shit like crafts, art, literature, or even cooking.
Challenging yourself to learn new things can put you in situations where you can develop other qualities, too.
Take changing a lightbulb. You may not know how to do that dumbass, but when the lightbulb doesn’t work, you just have to do something or be in the dark.
So you go online and learn how to change it.
Then, you can also learn that the switch should be off when changing it. Or just learn that the hard way, lol…
Afterward, you can try to find out what the matter was with the broken lightbulb. Did it have a manufacturing flaw? Is there a problem with the power in your house?
This is a light example, but do you get where I’m going with this?
We Never Neglect Ourselves and Self-Growth
Self-growth is the key to constant improvement and a positive mindset. Rather than comparing themselves to others, emotionally intelligent people focus on their journey.
Basically, they always put themselves first in some situations.
This mindset fosters self-confidence and lasting happiness.
It is not a coincidence that so many people choose to focus on self-growth and practice various activities that can catalyze it.
Focusing on your well-being will also help you be better for those around you. So, it’s a win-win situation.
Just like kids require a lot of attention from their parents when they are little, we adults also require a high level of attention, but from ourselves.
However, often we just get stuck with other matters and forget to take care of ourselves as we should.
Still, you can work on this. Start slowly, try to build some self-growth habits, and find what it is that helps you focus on yourself. Those of you who know me personally, know I call this; “Trimming the fat”.
We Don’t Make Decisions Based on Impulses
People with a high EQ take time to think things through.
As Daniel Goleman said in one of his books, we have two minds: rational and emotional.
And as much as we would like to think that reason is the one making decisions, it is not.
At least, not entirely…
The impulses first come from the emotional mind, as everything triggers an emotion. And some of us get stuck there.
However, emotionally intelligent people don’t.
We know that making a decision based on fleeting emotions is far from what’s recommended.
So, we filter our thoughts through our second mind, the rational. This way, we can make decisions grounded in logic.
And this can lead to less stress and more time spent without worrying about the bad decision you have made.
We Never Take Things Too Personally
Often people regularly say bad shit without thinking about it much.
And when such things are destined to reach an emotionally intelligent individual, they know that they should not take it personally.
Criticism or setbacks don’t shake such people… we leave that shit for beta minded people who always are governed by their emotions, feelings get hurt, they cry and get emotionally distraught. Alphas don’t have those problems.
They realize that not everything is about them and avoid unnecessary stress.
Maybe the person who said that had a bad day. Or maybe they even have some long-term problems that bother them. And whom would you help if you, too, struggled because of what that person said?
Wouldn’t it be better and easier to just think, “They’re not in their best shape,” and just move on without getting but hurt mad, cry babysad, or disappointed?
So, try not to take things too personally. Sometimes, actually, most of the time, bad words and criticism might not even be for you
We Never Avoid Difficult Conversations
For emotionally intelligent people, few things are difficult.
But even when they face something difficult, like a conversation, they certainly don’t avoid it.
Why? Because we know how to handle it, of course!
Addressing issues head-on is their way of resolving conflicts and building stronger connections.
So like a savage, we tackle tough talks instead of dodging them.
This also happens because, as emotionally intelligent people, we know how to handle our emotions and how to harness them for others. This is called leadership qualities…
Imagine that you borrowed something and broke it.
As an emotionally intelligent person, you would not hide it. Instead, you would admit the mistake, apologize, and find a solution together with the one you borrowed it from. Compassion and empathy are definitive traits of an alpha.
This kind of honesty might seem scary, but it’s like cleaning out a messy closet – once it’s done, you will surely feel better and lighter.
We Never Get Involved in Gossip
Imagine that gossip is a sneaky virus that spreads negativity everywhere it goes.
We’re living in a post-COVID world, it’s not that hard.
Well, emotionally intelligent people choose to wear a mask and get vaccinated, a dumbass will gamble with sickness and death!
Instead of participating in gossip, they get involved in meaningful conversations that bring positivity and understanding.
And if you did not like the virus example, let’s give you another.
Gossip is like a game of broken telephone. You share a secret; it travels from ear to ear, changing and growing more negative along the way.
An emotionally intelligent person knows this is not a game to play because it can hurt feelings and harm relationships.
So, in true alpha mindset they simply don’t play it.
Instead of talking about others behind their backs, they choose to discuss ideas, dreams, and the world around them.
These kinds of conversations light up the room and everyone inside.
They Never Get Stuck with Negative Thoughts
As an emotionally intelligent person, you have an ace up your sleeve: you’re like an expert problem solver for your own mind.
When negativity knocks, you don’t let it in. Instead, you peek through the window, nod politely, and then show it the exit as politely as before.
Imagine you’re worried about your driving exam or an important meeting at work.
You should not spend hours thinking of all the ways in which you can fail. Instead, you should acknowledge the nervous feeling and start to create a plan to study effectively.
Emotionally intelligent people know that negative thoughts are like clouds passing by.
They don’t let them rain on their parade.
Instead, they reach for their umbrella of positivity, such as all the things that make them happy, their favorite song, or even their favorite food.
We Never Act Based on Impulses
Emotions are like wild horses, but every horse has its charmer.
When faced with a situation, emotionally intelligent people don’t let their feelings take the reins. Instead, they take a pause, consider their options, and then respond with wisdom.
It’s like when you were little, and your mother told you to always be careful what you said.
When you want to say or react to something, think of it.
Then, count from 1 to 5 and take a deep breath. Only then, if you still consider it relevant, can you go ahead and do it or say it.
Emotionally intelligent people understand that reactions send out waves, affecting others and the situation.
So, they choose to respond like artists, carefully leading their way to a true masterpiece.
By being in control of their emotions, they build bridges instead of burning them.
They show that even in challenging situations, we have the opportunity to choose kindness and understanding.
They Never Blame Others for Their Actions and Decisions
Life is like a big puzzle, with each decision and action being a puzzle piece.
Emotionally intelligent people are puzzle masters who know how to carefully find the place for each piece.
What does it mean?
They simply take responsibility for their actions and decisions, be they good or bad. After all, it’s a decision or action they’ve taken.
When you point a finger at someone, the other three are pointed at you. It’s just about holding the mirror up to yourself.
When you do this, you don’t just see flaws; you also see opportunities to grow and become a better version of yourself.
By taking responsibility, people turn setbacks into stepping stones.
They become the architects of their own destiny, building the path to success by using bricks made of self-awareness.
They Never Forget About Others’ Body Language
Emotionally intelligent people don’t just listen to words.
Instead, they sometimes, even often, pay attention to body language, such as gestures, expressions, and postures.
This special skill helps them understand others behind their words, which can sometimes hide things.
Imagine you’re talking with a friend who says how happy they are thanks to a job promotion that sent them to another country.
But they constantly raise their shoulders, and tend to keep their arms crossed, and when they’re not, they’re rubbing their hands.
An emotionally intelligent person would notice these movements and ask what’s happening, finding out that their friend is actually very anxious about their promotion.
By being body language detectives, we can create a bond of understanding.
We can show that we’re not just listeners but also observers, making communication deeper and connections stronger.
They Never Stop Expressing Their Wishes and Preferences Clearly
It’s not a surprise, nor is it worrying: we cannot read minds.
And maybe it’s for the best.
But this fact challenges us to work on expressing ourselves better.
We have to be like artists and paint clear pictures of our thoughts and desires.
And we’re not talking about pointillism or surrealism. The painting has to be as clear as possible.
Emotionally intelligent people understand that words are bridges connecting one mind to another.
Of course, body language is important too. But to express our wishes, we usually use words.
This way, relationships aren’t like dead ends but like open fields where everyone knows where to go.
By expressing what you want, you can build trust and create smoother connections.
It’s just like adding more lights to the communication highway, making sure everyone has the same destination – understanding.
They Never Choose Close Friends Poorly
Your heart is like a garden that hosts your friends as flowers.
You have to be the gardener, choosing which flowers to plant together so the whole garden will thrive.
Instead of hanging out with people who always complain or talk about negative things, emotionally intelligent people choose friends who inspire them.
They understand that friendships are like mirrors, as they reflect who we are and how we feel.
So, they choose to surround themselves with people who can reflect positivity and kindness, more than negativity and doubt.
By choosing friends wisely, people create a supportive environment for their emotional well-being.
They basically build a circle of trust and care.
They Never Get Involved in Conflicts. Ever.
Let’s get back to the puzzle example.
Conflicts are those pieces that come from a different puzzle, and there is no way they could fit in yours.
This is how emotionally intelligent people think because they know conflicts can damage the whole puzzle.
When faced with disagreements, they don’t dive headlong into an argument.
Instead, they sail toward calmer waters. They ask questions to build greater understanding.
They look for resolutions that mend relationships rather than break them.
Emotionally intelligent people understand that conflicts are like thunderstorms; they pass, but the damage can stay.
They will disagree – discuss, – even debate, but they’re not the type to sling mud and fight dirty.
They Never Seek Approval
Artists never seek applause.
They feel good when they get it, but they never wait for praise.
It’s the same with approval.
Emotionally intelligent people never seek approval, because they trust themselves and their abilities.
They understand that seeking approval from others is like chasing something without a purpose.
Instead of relying on outside opinions, they listen to their inner voices, the ones that know them best.
By not seeking approval, emotionally intelligent people are building their own houses of self-worth.
They build strong foundations based on their values and beliefs rather than the shifting sands of others’ opinions.
It’s like having an unbreakable shield that protects their self-esteem from storms of doubt.
We Don’t Get Involved in Sticky Situations
Life truly is like a labyrinth.
Different paths lead to different places.
But emotionally intelligent people are the ones who know where to go and never get trapped in quicksand.
They simply avoid taking paths that lead to unnecessary drama, choosing the scenic route of peace instead.
When they face a complicated situation, they don’t get in without thinking.
They first weigh whether it is worth it to get in and if they can handle it well.
By recognizing potential trouble, they can be like navigators who steer clear of stormy waters as much as reasonably possible.
That’s my thoughts on it all folks!
Until next time… Remain #alphalife
#savage