Spoiler alert: People are wasting your time in more than one way. And it’s a fuckin lot of your time.
Sometimes you may notice sooner rather than later.
You may notice once they’ve already taken a big chunk of it.
Or even worse, you may never notice.
You might be giving your time and effort to people who will never give them back to you.
If someone in your circle is ticking more than five boxes, then maybe you should reevaluate their role in your life.
Your time is your most valuable commodity that’s in your control, so you need to share it wisely. That is why you need to learn to identify the Ways People Are Wasting Your Fucking Time.
They say they’ll do things but they don’t
Number one is people who say they’ll do something and don’t do it.
Being unreliable is one of the most annoying personality traits.
We need to feel safe in this world.
We need to feel like people will have our backs and that we can depend on them.
From trusting your partner to make dinner this evening because you’re working late to a friend coming to help you out when you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere, reliable people are the best people to be friends with.
If you have someone in your life constantly saying they’re going to do something and they don’t, they are wasting your time.
Flaky assed friends who make plans but don’t show up; a plumber who makes a plan to fix your leak but then keeps making excuses
When someone tells you that they’re going to do something and they keep not doing it, they’re sending out the message that they’re just wasting your time.
If you can’t do something, don’t say you will.
They’re indecisive and can’t give straight answers
We all have those moments when we struggle to make decisions.
It’s important to work at making better, faster decisions because our minds shouldn’t be bogged down with mundane things.
We’re actually quite a decisive species, but with so many options, we become confused. It’s our job to work on this.
When people around you constantly struggle with deciding which design to go for, what to eat for dinner, and what time to hold a meeting, your time and patience are ticking.
There’s a hierarchy to decision-making, and simple things like what to eat and what to wear shouldn’t take more than a few seconds.
Even at work, when you’re answering to other people, you need to know your stuff enough to be able to analyze everything and make a decision.
They talk too much and say too little
Number three, they talk too much and say too little.
Some people just love the sound of their own voices. You can check in and out of the conversation multiple times, and they won’t even notice.
Why are you still standing there?
Even if you think you’re ignoring them, your brain is half-listening and processing, so you’re using energy.
Either steer the conversation in a direction that benefits you too by asking the right questions, or excuse yourself and walk away.
They move at a different pace to you
This is a controversial one because we all move at our own pace, and there isn’t anything wrong with that.
But we also all want to be in different places, and if the pace they’re moving at is holding you back, then maybe it’s best to create some distance so that you can actually move forward.
A future CEO and an assistant in a surfing shop move at different paces, but they can still be good friends.
This doesn’t mean that you need to completely abandon them.
If you have a childhood friend who has different dreams for you and moves at a different pace, but you value your friendship, then hold on to that.
But know that you’re more likely to slow down to their pace rather than them speeding up to meet you.
They don’t communicate clearly
There are four different types of communication styles: passive, passive-aggressive, aggressive, and assertive.
We want assertive communication.
That’s straightforward, honest, and polite. It’s the best way to optimize your time and energy.
You get your message across in the fastest, clearest way.
But not everyone is like this.
Some people loooove the passive-aggressive way of communicating. You know, when they allude to having an issue but want to seem calm and relaxed about it?
It’s a frustrating time-waster.
Others are passive, so you genuinely have no idea what they want.
And then there are people who are aggressive.
With this communication style, you end up having to defend yourself, so you don’t have space to get to the root of the issue.
You can be honest with people who have these communication styles and point it out to them.
It’s easier for them to adjust this than it is to adjust a personality trait, so it’s worth bringing it up and sorting it out at the moment. Steer clear from someone who’s wasting your time like that.
They always complain and don’t do anything about it
Humans love fuckin complaining! It gives us a sense of importance.
It makes us feel better up to a point, but when venting turns into constant complaining, then that’s a major time waste.
The people you spend your time with should add value to your life like you do to theirs.
If they’re nitty-picky and finding issues with small things and making mountains out of molehills, then you’re going to spend most of your time listening to them drone in and not actually get anything out of the conversation.
Neuroscientists say that our brains sync together, so the more time you spend with someone who complains often, the more likely you are to complain and be negative too.
Their priorities are different from yours
Opposites only attract up to a certain point.
From there, you need some foundational things in common to continue a friendship or relationship.
If one person values working hard and being financially stable and another values partying and living without constraints, then you’re going to be butting heads over the smallest things.
These people aren’t intentionally wasting your time, and you’re probably wasting theirs too. Trying to get someone to live the life you want is an unfair and lost cause.
You have three options here;
Either you distance yourself, you end the relationship, or one of you makes the sacrifice and forgoes their goal lifestyle.
A compromise would be great, but it rarely works when your priorities, values, and belief systems are totally different.
You’re only prolonging an inevitable end.
They won’t meet you halfway
Imagine you have a friend who lives two hours away.
You both want to see each other, but you’re always the one who has to drive all the way to their place because they don’t want to meet you halfway.
Friends and partners who always want things their way—from the movies you watch to the dinners you eat and the activities you do—they’re not the kind of people who will meet you halfway on that drive.
Relationships thrive when each person makes a small compromise rather than a big sacrifice.
If you’re always the one sacrificing, then that’s going to bring down your self-esteem.
It will start making you feel like your needs and wants aren’t as important as theirs.
They don’t pay attention when you point out a bird
This one sounds nuts! But it’s been proven too.
Psychologist and relationship expert Dr. John Gottoman popularized the concept of a “bid for attention”.
If one person tries to get affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection, the way the other person responds to the bid can impact the relationship over time.
So if you point out a bird to your partner and they ignore you, Gottoman doesn’t predict great odds.
If they’re interested and look for the bird too, well, it’s a great relationship.
People who don’t care about the things that are important to you aren’t worth your time.
When they need your help but don’t delegate
Sometimes people need your help.
With your help, the job could be done in half the time, and then you can both relax.
But that’s not always how it happens.
People who try to do everything themselves might think they’re doing you a favor and making themselves look good, but they’re not.
They become a bottleneck in the workflow because you have to wait for them to finish their work to start yours.
You’re going to spend more time fixing mistakes than if they just told you what they needed right away.
When they can do it themselves but always need help
The other side of this coin is people asking you to help them with the silliest, smallest tasks.
Or if they ask for help with something you’ve shown them before.
As innate as it is for us to want to help people out, we also have a sixth sense of when someone is messing with us.
So if it seems like they’re asking for help too often and it’s affecting your downtime, it’s probably time to put a stop to that.
They constantly message instead of call
This may seem small, and millennials and Gen Zs are going to hate it, but back-and-forth messaging is a major time waste.
If you’re going back and forth and they don’t want to jump on a call to resolve things within a few minutes, then they could potentially be stealing hours from your day.
One call can fix it all, so we should start dialing again.
They talk about people, not ideas
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.”
A little gossip here and there is good for laughter and lightheartedness, but that shouldn’t be the center of your conversations.
You need to have conversations with people who ignite a spark within you.
You should leave feeling like you’re brimming with ideas, not with some dislike for your new arch-nemesis.
Who’s got time for THAT?
They love the drama
When someone says, “Drama just seems to follow me,” – RUN.
People create drama, and some do it more than others because they love the attention and excitement it brings.
They make mountains out of molehills; they follow small problems until they find a big one, and then they put themselves right in the middle of it.
Before you know it, you’ll be part of the drama too.
The best thing to do is to slowly step away.
Try to do it without them noticing, because stepping away might cause drama too!
They lie or exaggerate a lot
Everyone seems to have that one friend whose lies and embellishments they tolerate.
We don’t want ever to point out how obvious their lies are because we feel embarrassed about them.
We never know what’s real or what isn’t.
Oh, their dad owns a casino and can fund and invest in your business idea?
It sounds crazy, but here you are spending hours talking about something you know isn’t true.
Those people are absolutely wasting your time. Walk away. Don’t look back.
Some of these time-wasters could do with a second chance, and others will bring you down the more time you spend with them.
And there you have it: the 15 ways people are wasting your time. Until next time!
#alphalife #savage
