Do you feel shitty, bad, pissed off when a narcissist ignores your messages and / or calls? If yes, after reading this article, you won’t feel the same way again. I promise!
Most of the time, we don’t feel bad because we love the person who ignored us so much, but we feel bad because of the wrong conclusions we make subconsciously. For example, a person may send a simple text to the person they are in love with and wait for their reply.
The text may be a simple question that may be answered by a “yes” or a “no”, but in the meantime, they don’t wait for the reply alone. Instead, they also wait to know whether they are worthy or not.
If they get a reply, they feel good about themselves. On the other hand, if they get ignored, they feel inadequate, unattractive, or even worthless.
Most narcissists understand this fact at least subconsciously, and they may use it to manipulate you.
Reasons Why Narcissists Ignore Texts
- Revenge attempt: a normal person will always answer a text unless they have a strong reason not to. On the other hand if someone ignored your texts or if they went ahead to block you then it means that they are so concerned about something you did to them that they took actions to hurt you. You don’t have to do something really bad to hurt a narcissist. For example, if they believe that you’re not giving them the attention they deserve, they may decide to temporarily cut you off so that you realize how important they were to you.
- They had high expectations: when a narcissist is interested in someone, they usually love bomb that person and do a lot of nice things to them expecting to get a good response. When they don’t get that good response or if the response was not as good as they expected, they pull back and try to undo what they did. If the narcissist was overly nice to you and started ignoring your texts for no apparent reason, it’s a strong sign that they are interested in you.
- You ignored them: if a narcissist believed that you ignored them in one way or another, they will be eager to show you that you’re unimportant to them. Ignoring your messages is one way of showing you that you don’t matter to them.
- They want to see your response: narcissists’ self-esteem greatly depends on other people. If they have been giving you attention, they may back off to see your response. In this case, they believe that if they are important to you, you will automatically start chasing them as soon as they start ignoring you. If you ignored them back, they may assume that you don’t like them and they will really feel bad about it.
- They want to make you emotionally attached: Giving mixed signals is a powerful way to get a narcissist attached to you. Narcissists who know this fact may ignore you occasionally in order to get you emotionally attached.
- Doing it unintentionally: even though ignoring texts is a narcissistic thing, it’s wrong to assume that the narcissist is ignoring you intentionally without enough evidence. It’s also possible that they haven’t seen your message yet, or they may be too busy.
What You Should do About it
From the previous information you can see that a narcissist can ignore your texts on purpose with good or bad intentions, or ignore you unintentionally. If they were ignoring you unintentionally then you should just look for another way to contact them.
On the other hand if they were doing the shit on purpose, with bad intentions. Then you should understand that if you did really matter to them at all, then they shouldn’t have taken extra actions to hurt you.
Personally I’m not sure they are ignoring the messages. I believe not responding to them is punishment, a method of exerting control and also a product of their laziness. It is subtle yet cruel abuse, causing you to wonder what you’ve said or done, that has offended them.
And also a way of raising your anxiety level, wondering if you’re being dumped, or whether something terrible has happened to them. It puts you in suspense, while they are enjoying your suffering.
Responding to you puts things in writing, and that may be a reason a narc wouldn’t respond, as it could be used against them later, and maybe because they’re just not literate enough to express themselves in the written word.
Or, it may be that they’re just too drunk or occupied with some other person when you are texting them. Don’t worry, they’ll get back to you sometime with some irrelevant response when and if they feel like it!
Simply put, they enjoy ignoring messages as a form of manipulation, control and punishment.
They feel entitled to have you wait on them and their response. It’s not about what you want, when you want it and how you want it. It’s about their ego, their needs and wants.
They will ignore messages, unless they have a self interest of some kind. In other words… if they don’t need you or you can’t provide them with whatever they may need and want from you at that given time, you don’t exist.
It’s a matter of fact, many times they will just delete messages even before reading them. They are simply, not interested. You are boring them and bothering them. But, if they contact you and you engage in conversation regarding helping them with what they want from you, they will be blowing up your phone with messages and phone calls.
It’s all about them!
You don’t mean anything to them. To a narcissist, people are just another commodity. Unfortunately, most narcissists are bonified experts at imitating human behavior. Pursuant to this, a narc will fool you, trick you, beguile you, etc. As many times as they are ALLOWED to get away with it!
The moment that you suspect you’re partnered with a narcissist, you must become ruthless. I’m serious. This is difficult for the average person to do because your narc has by, this time, coaxed, love bombed, cajoled and coerced you into loving them. To a normal person, some one that loves you would never do and say what a narcissist does and says…
Lets face it. Becoming ruthless with someone we love, someone with whom we planned to spend our life with, its not something that will happen quickly. Or easily. It may be the single most difficult thing you ever do. But you have to… Your survival, your peace! Depends upon it.
You must keep this in mind: the reason they ignored your messages is: THEY NEVER LOVED YOU! They never will. Many of them don’t love themselves!
